Wedding Don'ts!

I use Google Alerts to see what is being written about Wedding Ministers/Officiants. Tonight a link to an article by Matt Jones/Altavista Journal Staff Writer was on the Alerts list. I have copied it here for you. It is quite the list and most of it is really good, some obvious, and some should be taken with a grain of salt! I have added some comments as well. 

"Everywhere you turn, there are lists of things to do on your wedding day.

Well, the Altavista Journal talked to seasoned professionals and they shared things not to do in regards to your wedding. With a combined total of well over 2,000 weddings between them, Teresa Clayton, owner of Glencliff Manor; the Rev. Mary M. Jones, minister of New Bethel United Methodist Church and Motley United Methodist Church; and Roger Blackstock, owner of The Portrait Place, share some tips and tricks from their decades of wedding experiences.

For the bride and groom

•Don't deep dip the bride because your hands are sweaty and you mostly likely will drop her. No bride wants to start her married life that way.

•Don't over do the kiss. The saying is, "You may now kiss the bride." Be discreet and respectful. ( I will interject here a bit. A peck won't do. The kiss needs to be long enough for the photographer to get a good picture. It is a landmark moment and should be in your wedding album. I said "long enough" but that does not meet overly passionate and I am sure you know what I mean!)


(Brides: please wear long lasting lipcolor on your wedding day. There are several brands out there. The kind that won't smear off onto the lips and face of the groom! Also wear waterproof mascara so that you don't have black tear tracts going down your cheeks for your ceremony and photos!)

•Don't toss her into the pool. It's not funny. She may laugh, but she won't find it funny.

•Don't drink adult beverages before the wedding. The ceremony should not be held up because you are too sick to make it down the aisle.

•Don't smash cake in each other's face. It's awkward for the guests. It's rude and say goodbye to your hair and makeup.

•Don't just have one pair of high heels for your wedding day. It's a long day and if your feet hurt you aren't going to enjoy it.

•Don't use an aisle runner if you are having an outside wedding. It will just get muddy and wrinkled if the groomsmen even remember to roll it out and, if they do, the bridesmaids will all be terrified of tripping over it. (Aisle runners should not be used on grass or carpet. There is no way to secure it and it becomes a safety hazard. On concrete and wooden floors and decks, it should be taped down ahead of time. The best aisle runner is white carpet. A pretty option is to put rows of pretty flower petals down each side of the aisle.)

•Don't forget to eat the day of your wedding. It's a long day and you will pass out.

•Don't be afraid to say no. It's your wedding day. People can wait to say hello.

•Don't answer your phone. It can wait or they can call someone else or give your phone to someone else so they can answer questions about the ceremony.

•Don't be afraid to delegate. Pick someone else in the wedding party to answer your guests' questions.

•Don't forget your allergies. You may think golden rods are the most beautiful flower ever, but if they make you react, holding that bouquet will not be fun.

•Don't buy the wrong size dress. You are the size you are and if the dress doesn't fit properly, you'll spend all day fidgeting with it.

•Don't forget to check the fit of your clothes. Just because your suit fit a few years ago doesn't mean it still does.

•Don't invite people out of social obligation. It's your day and make sure you have a good time.

•Don't chew gum. It doesn't look good in person or in pictures. If you need to freshen up, sneak a mint.

•Don't invite the minister to the reception for the first time at the ceremony; it puts them in a difficult position.

(This has never been a problem for me. When I am invited, I graciously decline. I may have another wedding I have to go to, or it has been a long day and I want to get home, and wedding food is delicious and high carb and fat and I would weigh 400 lbs. if I went to receptions! Besides, I want you to be celebrating with your family and friends and not taking care of me.)

•Don't let price be your only deciding factor when it comes to photography. You get what you pay for. And know exactly what is included in your package.

(I will add one here. Don't let price be your only deciding factor when it comes to hiring your wedding officiant! Your officiant should be someone who shares your values, someone who is experienced at officiating weddings and can work with you to create the ceremony you deserve, and one in whom you have confidence. Your ceremony is the first event of the big day with your guests and sets the tone for the whole day so it is important to have an officiant who can deliver the ceremony you love with grace and confidence. You know the old saying "You get what you pay for.")

•Don't wait until the last minute to ask a minister to do your ceremony. (Amen here!)

•Don't blindly follow every wedding trend. This is (hopefully) a once-in-a-lifetime event, and you want to create family heirlooms, not trendy photos.

•Don't wait until the last moment to decide who will be escorting the bride.

•Don't forget to check bow ties, zippers and shoelaces.

•Don't procrastinate. Do as much as possible before the day of your wedding.

•Don't forget to check for dry cleaning and price tags.

•Don't close your eyes during the prayer. You can get dizzy. Instead, discreetly bow your head.

•Don't forget the license. (When there is a rehearsal, I have my couples bring the license to me then so I know it cannot be forgotten on the wedding day.)

•Don't forget to pay everyone. It's your wedding and your responsibility.

•Don't forget to include the grandparents. Get them something.

•Don't wait to work out details on the seating.

•Don't forget the rings and know who has the rings.

•Don't fight. A wedding is supposed to be a happy time; plus you have the rest of your life to fight.

For everyone:

•Don't forget to account for traffic. Plan on it being bad. Early is better than late.

•Don't do too much. You are there as guests. Don't be the center of attention.

•Don't include everybody remotely related to the bride and groom in pictures. The photographer should not have to find a spot for the bride's twice-removed fifth cousin on her mother's ex-husband's side.

•Don't be enlisted to be DJ's, directors, caterers, etc. It's a day for you to enjoy as well.

•Don't forget to have scotch tape at the gift table. That way, cards stay with gifts and there is no guessing who got what. (That is a great idea!)

•Don't overindulge. Yes, it's a party and everyone is there to have a good time, but no one wants to have to carry you out of the reception.

•Don't wait. As much as possible, photography should be done before the ceremony; your guests don't want to wait while Great-Aunt Genie is helped up a flight of stairs for photos.

•Don't fake smile for the camera. It's obvious when you do that.

•Don't have a bride's side/groom's side for the ceremony. People are friends with both and they don't want to choose. Besides, it's always lopsided and that looks bad in pictures. (These days the only "sides" are the first, and sometimes the second, rows reserved for family. Everyone else is seated on either side and it is best to fill the seats up from the front, not the back. Blocks of empty chairs look bad in wedding photos--looks like people did not come to the ceremony.)

•Don't ask the photographer about his/her gear or the camera you bought during key moments of the ceremony. They are there to work and capture the moments. Find down time to ask them.

•Don't lock your knees; passing out is not a good look. (I am not worried about how it would "look" if someone passed out, I would have to stop the ceremony for them to be taken care of. I had a bridesmaid pass out once due to forgetting to eat and we stopped and gave her something to eat and drink then resumed the ceremony.)

•Don't assume people know the details of the location of the ceremony. Give them address, location, name and directions to the ceremony.

•Don't forget to say thank you.

•Don't take your cell phone into the ceremony.

•Don't forget logistics of travel, who is driving the cars after the ceremony, how is everyone getting to the next place.

•Don't forget those with special needs. Have a handicap-accessible entrance.

•Don't forget to check and double check the spelling of names and abbreviation of titles.

•Don't bring your dog 

Remember to relax and have a good time and, of course, don't be late."