Great Wedding for Cynthia and Chad at Caffe Luna!

Cynthia and Chad are one of the most delightful couples I have ever married! Cynthia called me on April 13th and we met on April 20th. (Initially we had trouble connecting by email because their server, Yahoo, likes to put my messages to couples in the spam folder. After we got over that hump by Cynthia adding me to her contact list, we scheduled our meeting.) Their wedding was the 30th of May 2010 which meant we had to work quickly to create their ceremony. They had chosen one of my favorite venues for their wedding--Caffe Luna.  They quickly scanned through my ceremony material and put together what they wanted. Then they answered some questions for me so that I could put together their "story" for the ceremony. Theirs is such a wonderful story. Chad's mother and Cynthia worked together at one point a few years ago and she just knew these two would be a great match and so she managed to orchestrate a first date for this unsuspecting couple...and just as she thought, that was all that it took for them to fall in love with each other. They have been together ever since. And last July they welcomed their son, Rocco, into the world. Here's a photo that was displayed at the wedding.

Mothers know best, you know!

Their wedding day arrived and after getting my sound system all set up and doing a sound check, I helped pin on the boutonnieres. This is Sean who was in charge of bringing Rocco in for the wedding and taking him out if necessary, which did happen, but then he was able to bring him back in for the sand pouring ceremony.

Would you believe that a good friend of the couple's made this lovely cake for them? How wonderful and I bet it was delicious. I love their happy colors! Cynthia did all the flowers herself.

Their wonderful musicians were also friends. They are Lori Gartland, guitarist and vocalist, and Nancy Plante, violinist. Right before the processional began, Lori sang "What a Wonderful World" at the couple's request. She was terrific. They are musicians from Kings Kompany who provide a variety of music-related services including singing telegrams!Go check out their website to see all that they offer.

Amy, Chad's sister-in-law, served as our honorary wedding director. She got tapped because she is organized, responsible, reliable and has a bit of drill sergeant in her! A wedding director is necessary for any wedding in which there is more than one attendant each because I am not able to be in two places at one time to direct the wedding on the wedding day. I recommend that if at all possible, couples hire a professional wedding consultant to do this even if it is only for "day of" coordinator. If the wedding director is a friend or relative, I will train him/her what do to at the rehearsal. The wedding goes ever so much more smoothly this way and in general just looks like we had a plan! Great job, Amy! You were clearly the woman for this job! 

After the parents were escorted in, the groom and groomsmen and I entered from the front and took our places and then it was time for the bridal party to enter. 

First in was our Maid of Honor but I did not get a good photo of her. Then Sean entered carrying Rocco, our "ring bearer" in his little tux! He was so cute! At 11 months of age, though, he did not have a clue what was happening! 

Then Hailey, our flower girl, entered. She knew exactly what to do and sprinkled those petals like a pro! 

And here comes our beautiful bride and her proud father, Jerry. Cynthia looked like a princess bride from a fairytale with her full and fluffy dress and tiara. It was so pretty. 

I asked her father: "Jerry, as Cynthia's father, do you and her mother, Marjorie, bless and support Cynthia as she comes to join in marriage with Chad?" Of course he said "We do." Then he placed her hand in Chad's, she gave Dad a little kiss, the guests were seated and the ceremony began. (Our photographer was also a friend of the couple. His name is Hans Rohm with SecondGlance Productions.)

Cynthia and Chad were so in the moment and happily enjoying their ceremony. I find that my couples are much more relaxed because we have created their ceremony together and they know what I will be saying and that there will be no embarrassing sermons coming from me! 

Here I am talking to Rocco and telling him how important he is in this marriage we are celebrating and how much his parents love him. You can't tell in the photo but at this point he was getting a little fussy and Sean had to go get his bottle which was stashed nearby. With babies in the ceremony we have to go with the flow and not get rattled or upset. He was just being a normal 11-month-old and everything was cool. 

I may be telling their story here, about how Diane set them up to hang out together one evening when Cynthia was visiting her in Maryland. "Chad, being the decent normal boy from southern Maryland that he is, took her out for crabs!  It was a nice dinner of breaking the ice and after that they eventually went for a long walk in the historic district of Alexandria and counted how many people were holding hands—except them. And with this adventure together, their love was born and as they say, the rest of the story is history!" 

After the family unity sand ceremony, it was time for the big pronouncement of marriage!

Followed by the KISS! At the rehearsal I make sure the couple get some practice and if they are too shy, I assign them kissing for homework the night before the rehearsal! I also relate to them that their kiss should be long enough for their photographer to get a good picture. Cynthia and Chad did well. It was obvious they had been practicing and I didn't have to make them do it over!

And, the ceremony is over and they are officially a married couple. Time for photos and then to celebrate!

Look at this beautiful dress again! I just loved it and it was perfect for Cynthia. She just floated in it! 

One more photo with me and then Marty and I hit the road for the next wedding. Cynthia and Chad, you are both awesome individuals and an awesome couple and parents. Rocco is a fortunate little boy! I wish you a lifetime of happiness together!

Tammy and Alex's Beautful Wedding at the Meredith College Amphitheater!

Tammy and Alex were such a great couple to work with. They have such unflappable, even temperaments and easily tackled the job of creating their ceremony from the material I sent them. They wanted to do a unity type of ritual in the ceremony but because Alex's brothers had the water pouring and the sand ceremonies in their weddings, they did not want to repeat either of those. Tammy came up with the brilliant idea of converting the traditional rose ceremony into an "orchid unity" ceremony and it worked perfectly. 

Their wedding day was Saturday May 29, 2010, and they chose the beautiful and expansive amphitheater at Meredith College with the lake on one side and the tiered brick seats on the other for their wedding site. There are bridges on both sides and we used one for the entrance of the groom, his groomsmen and me. The other was used by the bride and her father to enter the ceremony. It was impressive. The day was rather hot and muggy but it did not rain! The sun was in and out during the ceremony. Usually there are lots of geese strolling around on the grassy area but they were obviously intimidated by all the humans on their turf and so they stayed in the water. However, they left behind plenty of goose poop for us to avoid stepping in! But see how pretty and green the grass is because of all the "natural" fertilizer!

 

We began by having all the guests leave the shady spots and go take their seats in the sun as Rebecca, a neighbor of the couple, played the violin. Then our director, Janie, friend of mother of the bride, directed the seating of the parents.

Alex and his men and I were ready to enter next. The sun was definitely out and the temperature was near 90 degrees.

Now it is time for the bride to enter escorted by her proud father.

Tammy had told me that her bridesmaids were wearing "grape purple" and that she was wearing a white dress trimmed in "wine red." Well, I could not imagine how all this would go together but it was gorgeous. Look at her amazing wedding gown! I am sorry I did not ask her more about it. I think it must be a vintage gown with a history.

Here is a bridal portrait of Tammy that Jennifer of Kidd Photography took and posted on Facebook which is where I got it. Great photo and it really shows the detail of her awesome wedding dress.

This is the view from the seats in the amphitheater. See how large it is? I did a lovely Celtic wedding here years ago where the bride and her entourage were escorted in to the music of a bagpiper. It was majestic. I don't know why more couples don't use the amphitheater. The lovely chapel comes with it as a back up plan. Our head photographer was Jennifer Kidd. Jennifer is so much fun to work with. She told me she had injured her wrists and her leg in a bicycle accident a few days before the wedding but that was not going to stop her from fulfilling her obligation to Tammy and Alex. So she brought along lots of help! Jennifer Aanerud and Michelle, both free lance photographers, were there to help her out. This is Jennifer A. in the foreground and it was great to see her back in action after having an adorable baby boy in March. Michelle is wielding  the tripod and Jennifer Kidd is making her way around the guests to the right.

Here are Michelle and Jennifer busy getting great angles for the wedding photo album. This wedding was definitely covered photographically!

This photo above is taken from the lake-side of the amphitheater and shows the many rows of brick seats behind the guests. Not common to see a wedding from this angle. The little black "boxes" you see on either side of the guests are the speakers of my sound system that I provide so that all the guests can hear what I am saying and enjoy the ceremony the couple and I carefully created.

During the ceremony I handed Tammy a hankie so she could mop the sweat and humidity off Alex's face where it was rolling down from his forehead!

As they were escorted in, their mothers, the givers of life, each carried a stem of orchids representing the bride and the groom, much like the unity candles the mothers light in traditional ceremonies, and poured water into the central vase and placed the orchids in the two white vases, one representing the bride, one the groom. "Orchids in themselves are symbolic of love and are often described as elegant, beautiful, strong, rare, delicate and long lasting."  The couple then exchanged the orchids as their first gift to each other then placed them together in the water that each mother had poured into the central clear vase which "represents the nourishment and unity of your families. May this water clean and soothe your relationship that you may never thirst for love and bind you together forever."

 And now they are married! 

Tammy and  Alex, what a great couple you make and I know you will be so happily married. I wish you a lifetime of happiness and contentment!

Having a Friend Get Ordained and Officiate Your Wedding..........

Once again, I saw this article on Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants blog and thought it might be of interest to my readers. I have been asked at the last minute or nearly the last minute by couples who have asked friends to get ordained online in order to officiate their wedding. Sometimes it is because the couple starts doubting the legality of doing this and worry about their marriage being "legal" and indeed, online ordinations in North Carolina are quite controversial. Other times the project of writing the ceremony becomes overwhelming and the friend either backs out or "gets sick." Once I was hired just to standby and do the pronouncement at the end and handle the license--which I did. When I asked to see the ceremony they and their friend had come up with, I was appalled and re-wrote the whole ceremony which the couple loved. They simply did not know what they were doing. On another occasion I ended up co-officiating with the friend after the couple and I wrote the ceremony and we alternated sections. That really was a lot of fun and he felt so much more at ease having me there with him. 

For a variety of reasons, many couples are turning away from church weddings in favor of nontraditional locations in which to hold their wedding ceremonies. Some couples desire to hold their wedding and reception in the same location. Others opt for outdoor ceremonies. Still others have no ties to organized religion and refuse to compromise those beliefs by marrying in a church. Brides and grooms with different religious upbringing and beliefs (e.g. He is Muslim, she is Christian) often opt for a non-church wedding simply to avoid having to harmonize their different religious philosophies. Oftentimes couples simply want to avoid church-mandated pre-marital counseling.

With more creative options for ceremony locations, it was inevitable that a similar rise in options for ceremony officiants would follow. Couple this with the current precipitous economy, and some brides and grooms are leaning toward asking a friend or family member to officiate at their wedding ceremony.

A good idea? Maybe. It depends on the personality and talents of the person you ask. Here are the pros and cons.

Pros:

It’s a great way to be married by someone who knows you personally. A friend or family member can share stories about you as a couple from their firsthand experience and really make your ceremony unique.

It’s cost effective if the friend will perform the ceremony for free.

You’ll have free reign to put whatever you want into your ceremony.

Cons:

Much can go wrong in the delivery of your wedding ceremony. Even those who are proficient speakers under different circumstances may become rattled at the everyday glitches that can crop up in a wedding ceremony. Consider how your friend will do if the groom becomes emotional, the bride flubs her vows, the flower girl is whining, the musicians play the wrong selection, inclement weather conditions suddenly arise for your outdoor wedding, your feuding divorced parents refuse to sit next to one another, the microphone dies mid-sentence, or someone faints. Handling these situations requires a special set of skills. Professional officiants have “been there, done that” with every situation above and more! (Amen!)

Unless one has had experience in writing a ceremony, putting one together can be time-consuming and a lot of work. Don’t expect to find much in the way of innovative ideas on the web without doing a ton of research. Most books deal with writing your own vows, but that is only one part of the ceremony.

Affordable does not mean free. Unless it is your friend’s wedding gift to you, expect to give them the courtesy of compensating them for their time in some manner, be it an outright payment, a gift card or a dinner out.

There is nothing binding to stop your friend from changing his or her mind as the big day approaches. This happens all the time as people get cold feet or egos start to conflict between the couple and the officiating friend. We receive calls all the time from couples looking for an officiant because their friend backed out at the 11th hour.

If your friend or family member is very close to you, consider the possibility that he or she will become overly emotional during the service.
 
Bottom line advice

Be sure you are 100% confident of your friend’s ability to handle a myriad of circumstances that can creep up on your big day. If you have any reservations at all, then bite the financial bullet and hire a professional.

Consider your own personality. If you and your honey are incredibly laid-back and okay with imperfections in your wedding ceremony, then by all means go for it. But if you are not so inclined, then consider the fact that having an inexperienced amateur facilitating your ceremony may be more stress than you can handle on such an emotion-packed day.

Start the process of writing your ceremony early–at least six months before the wedding date, so that there will be lots of time for research, practice and revisions.

Bear in mind that an online ordination is not recognized as sufficient to legally perform weddings in every state. You must check with your local County Clerk and Recorder to see if your state validates the legality of such ceremonies. In some instances, your aspiring officiant must also register with the county before performing a ceremony, which sometimes requires a fee.

Having a friend perform your wedding ceremony can be wonderfully warm, personal and fun. Just be sure you go into it with your eyes open to the potential pitfalls as well as the benefits. If you go this route, remember to choose your “volunteer” officiant with care, plan for contingencies, and practice, practice, practice until it all flows smoothly.