5 Top Tips for Selecting Your Wedding Officiant

This article was written by Rev. Annemarie Juhlian in Washington State. I have been following her blog for several years and really resonate with her as a colleague and fellow non-denominational minister. I echo what she has to say about choosing an officiant.

You've got so much planned for your wedding day - casual or formal, big or intimate - AND one of the last details left to deal with is finding and selecting a person to marry you!
If you are being married outside of a specific religious tradition or if you don't have a minister, rabbi, priest or layperson to officiate your ceremony, you will need to find an Officiant or Minister in the "outside world."
As a Non-Denominational Wedding Officiant/Minister, I have worked with hundreds of couples of all faiths and traditions to create and delivery personalized wedding ceremonies. Over the years, I have learned many things working intimately with engaged couples and with "tribes" on the wedding day.
I offer you these 5 Top Tips to Consider and Remember As You Interview And Select Your Officiant/Minister:
1) Is Your Officiant/Minister Passionate About What They Do? Creating and officiating a wedding ceremony is serious business. It also requires that a person be passionate, excited and at the same time humble about doing this work. As you interview Officiants, consider the "passion" factor. Is the Officiant excited about the possibility of working with you? Do they offer ideas and suggestions for your wedding ceremony during your initial conversation? Can you see this person relating to you and your Sweetheart and can you get a sense of how they will "be' in front of a group?
The last thing you want is a boring "blah, blah, blah" wedding ceremony. The goal is to find an Officiant/Minister who exhibits kindness, generosity and leadership ability.
2) Does The Officiant's Personality Resonate With You? There is not right way to "do" a ceremony. And there is no "wrong" way to do a ceremony. It's all about what you want/desire as a couple. I invite you to consider that an Officiant's personality is key to a robust and memorable wedding ceremony. You need to like each other and if the Officiant selects you and you select the Officiant, this is even better because you are setting the stage for a mini-friendship which makes the process of working together that much more fun and enjoyable.
3) Style of Work - How Will Your Ceremony Be Created/Crafted? Every Officiant works differently. Discuss with your Officiant how they create and deliver a ceremony. Will your ceremony be custom written? Will you be asked to select from sample ceremonies? What is the level of personalization and customization involved?
4) References ~ The best Officiants put references on their websites with the first and last name of a couple. There are also wedding reviews sites that provide additional reviews and recommendations. Don't hire an Officiant without reading and/or checking out references. (I prefer to protect the privacy of my couples and therefore do not publish their last names on my website or on my blog. I am happy to furnish references if someone wants to contact one of my couples. There are also 30 something reviews of me on WeddingWire.com that couples can read.)
5) The Contract Factor ~ As you make your final decision, insure that you have a written agreement and/or contract with your Officiant. You want all terms and items of understanding to be outlined in your agreement including fee for services, attendance at rehearsal, time of wedding ceremony and services provided to you.

Annemarie Juhlian is a Wedding Officiant, Minister & Celebrant in Seattle, Washington. She creates personalized wedding ceremonies for couples of all faiths and traditions. Take a peak at Annemarie: http://www.wedbyannemarie.com or call 425. 922.1325

Caitlin and Chris' Wedding at the Angus Barn Wine Cellar!

Caitlin and Chris put their wedding together quite efficiently and in a very short time. They chose the warm and cozy setting of the Angus Barn Wine Cellar for their intimate family wedding on Sunday evening May 23, 2010. I have done another wedding there and it is so much fun to be led by the Maître d' through the kitchen where the cooks and waiters always welcome you and speak to you like you are an old friend and then down into the chilly and dimly lit wine cellar then entering the beautifully appointed dining room with its own wait staff there to cater to your every whim. What a treat!

Here is the view from one end of the huge table looking toward the area where we will stand for the ceremony.

  And here is the view from the other end.

Here is Chris, our Maître d', (although I am not sure that is his real title but that is what I am choosing to call him!).

Isn't this an adorable little wedding cake? It is just right for this size wedding and so pretty too. It was made by the Once in a Blue Moon Bakery. 

Here are the happy bride and groom before the wedding. We are meeting face to face for the first time as we made all the arrangements via email and USPS. 

And so the ceremony begins. Chris was so serious but Caitlin was beaming. They met 5 years ago when they were both students in college. Caitlin at Meredith and Chris at NCSU. And, they are quite determined individuals having each earned two degrees during this courtship. They launched their careers and then last November found out that they were happily expecting a little girl in July. So, we included a blessing for the unborn baby in the wedding ceremony and may do another baby blessing ceremony after she is born. 

Here's the pronouncement followed by the kiss which I don't have a photo of!

Presentation of the new Mr. and Mrs. to their applauding families.

I received this sweet note from Caitlin two days later: 

"Thank you so much for officiating our wedding ceremony on Sunday night.  Not only did we love our ceremony and feel that it embodied our personalities and story perfectly, but our families loved it.  I of course didn't have a watch on, but I hear you not only made it there by 6, but you were early!  And since I know you had others before me, and let's face it...quite possibly weather delays, I truly appreciate it!

My grandparents down to my young cousins were thrilled with the ceremony you put together (that is no small accomplishment).  Chris and I loved it, and it was exactly the way I had envisioned it. Please know how much we appreciate you helping us create this beautiful ceremony and making it unique to us.  I have friends/coworkers who were married by you, and referred me to you, and I will certainly have your name in my back pocket for anyone getting married in the future!

Thank you so very much! Caitlin"

Caitlin and Chris, I wish you a wonderful marriage and family life and with your ability to accomplish all you have so far in your lives, I know you will succeed! I look forward to receiving a birth announcement in a couple of months from you too!

Janice and Luke Dodged the Rain for their Wonderful Wedding at Duke Gardens Pergola!

In October of 2001 I married Jennifer and Ted at Duke Gardens. Almost 9 years later on May 23, 2010, I married Jennifer's sister, Janice, and her fiance, Luke, at Duke Gardens. It was a family affair! Janice contacted me in June of 2009 and told me she wanted me to officiate. We handled everything through the mail and email then started on their ceremony without ever meeting. Of course I had met Janice back in 2001 at her sister's wedding but did not meet Luke until the rehearsal. Jennifer was her sister's Matron of Honor and Ted was Luke's Best Man and it was spectacular to see them again since I had not seen them since their wedding and found out they have two adorable children, Reagan and Parker, whom I got to meet at this wedding!

They also told me that the violinist on the left, Galen Tim, whose string trio was playing for Janice's wedding, was the ring bearer in their wedding in 2001~ small world! Obviously in 9 years he has grown in to a very talented young man. His group is called Melos String Ensemble.  The other two musicians are Daniel Boney and Steve Chung. They played wonderfully!

This is Jennifer being cued in by Christine, cousin of the bride, who was drafted to serve as our wedding director as well as be a reader. She did a fantastic job as both! Thanks, Christine! 

Melissa Kay of Melissa Kay Photography was our wedding photographer. I thought this was a great shot of her and the wedding party waiting for the bride's entrance! Go see this wedding on Melissa's blog here.

 Janice was escorted in by her mother, Gloria. Isn't Janice's wedding gown stunning?

When Janice appeared on the steps from the lower level, Luke stepped down to the bottom of the pergola steps to meet her and Gloria.

Gloria transfers Janice's hand into Luke's and mother and daughter kiss a symbolic good bye.

Christina read "Marriage Means Being In Love for the Rest of Your Life" by Chris Ardis. Then I read from First Corinthians Chapter 13. We paid tribute to the parents and remembered those who could not be with us this day. We also included the story of how Luke and Janice met and fell in love (funny story), moved from Ohio to North Carolina and are starting a new chapter in their lives.

Janice is saying her vows to Luke while placing the ring on his finger.

Time for the big pronouncement of marriage followed by the ...............

 KISS!!

And now they are Mr. and Mrs. at last! Everyone is applauding as they make their way down the steps. 

And out they go so happily married to start their new life together as husband and wife. It is a thrilling moment! 

After the guests have departed to the Doris Duke Reception Center for the reception, we return to the pergola to take some pictures. Luke and Janice, what a great couple you are.........I wish you all the best in the world!

This is the reception setting before the wedding. The bride and her sister and bridesmaids were hanging out here staying cool. Fresh Affairs did these beautiful floral arrangements. 

I thought this was a most beautiful and unusual presentation of a cupcake wedding cake and top layer. Sugarland Bakery did a great job. Triangle Catering was doing the food which I know was delicious as always.